


Life's About Changin'

by apple9131999



Series: The States of America [21]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Acceptance, Betrayal, Eventual Happy Ending, Family Feels, Forgiveness, Massachusett's Frankly Awful Driving Skills, Sibling Love, transphobic language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:05:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6896899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apple9131999/pseuds/apple9131999
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Nothing ever stays the same</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life's About Changin'

_January 7, 2014- Houston, Texas_

* * *

She likes to regard 2014 as the year of Thoughts.

2014, if you asked anyone else, was the year Texas refused to talk to any of them for half of a year.

It was early in 2014 when Liam came out to her and Mia, Connor standing behind Liam, skinny arms crossed over his chest, as if daring her to say something. She hadn’t handled it well, she knew, but she wasn’t an asshole about it like Connor and Mia seemed to be prepared for. She nodded, listened to Liam/Lillian try to explain, bit her tongue instead of pointing out that Liam/Lillian had a dick and therefore was a boy, and no one could be two genders anyway, smiled tensely when Liam/Lillian stopped, ignored Connor’s dirty look, and spent the months until her birthday in Texas, refusing to talk to any of her family.

* * *

She was running through one of her parks with Sadie by her side- the dog barking and veering off of the path occasionally to snap at some birds- when her thoughts brought her spiraling back to the 80’s.

Texas sat down by one of the benches, half-heartedly calling Sadie back- a call that went unnoticed by the hyper dog. She was watching a bee hover over the flowers in front of her.

She felt Al a moment before he appeared. Her glare was already leveled at him as he cheerfully meandered around the corner, a stupid grin on his face, humming her anthem.

She stood and called for Sadie again, the steel in her voice bringing the dog to her side immediately. She had a hand on Sadie’s collar and was ready to zap them to the farthest point of Texas from Al, even though he would probably just follow her, when Al grabbed her arm.

She shook his arm off and glared at him.

“You uh...you haven’t been around, Dest,” Al said, shoving his hands in his threadbare jeans. He had the smatterings of a sunburn on his arms and his cheeks. She scowled and looked away.

Sadie perked up and wriggled out of Texas’ hold to paw at Al’s beat up shoes.

“What’s up with that?” he tried again, rubbing at Sadie’s nose until the dog was satisfied.

She whipped her head around fast enough for one of her braids to smack his chest, her eyes fierce.

He rubbed his arm where the tail end of her hair had in fact hit him. “You uh...you haven’t done this since uh… Vietnam. And then you only weren’t talking to uh _me_. What happened?”

She rolled her eyes and stomped away, a bitten-off, “Sadie, _heel_ ,” thrown over her shoulder.

She felt a soft hand close around her upper arm and she froze mid-stride. Sadie sat down by her feet, tail thumping against the black-top, tongue lolling out of her mouth as she quirked her head at Texas.

“Sadie,” she told the dog, her voice faux cheerful, “I’d like you to tell whoever has their hand on me that I don’t want to talk to them and that you’re a hunting dog for a reason, can you do that?”

Sadie barked, yipped, and then rolled onto her back, her belly exposed to the both of them.

Alfred let go of her arm and stepped away from her.

There was a very long silence.

“I get it,” Al said then. “I’ll tell Mia and Liam that you’re okay. See you at Easter? We’re going to Connor’s- that’s not too far for you, right?”

“Sadie, heel,” she said and walked away.

* * *

_March 18, 2014- Worcester, Massachusetts._

* * *

She hated snow. It was gross. And wet. And cold. Not to mention all the slush when the plows moved through. It looked even gross when your stomach was filled with crappy airplane food, it was well past dinner hours, and you were regretting shelling out the money to get here, partially because you couldn’t remember where Massachusetts’ house was.

It wasn’t in Boston, she knew that. She had distant memories of a large yard and a small rickety house on the side of a hill. Boston didn’t have any of that anymore.

...she’s pretty sure…

She was sitting outside the Worcester Regional Airport, slumped over her knees, watching the muddy puddle of half-melted snow by her feet.

She felt a person sit down next to her, long legs extending out in front of them, jeans pressing onto the cold concrete. She spied a smattering of freckles and red hair and a curl that was flung up into the air.

“You’re about 30 minutes from my house,” Massachusetts said, his reddening nose turning up to the starry sky. She followed his glance and shivered. “You could ask for a ride and I’d take you over and lie to Sam and Victoria more than I already am. Or you could keep going to Boston- that’s a few hours though- and do whatever over there. Or you could get back on a plane to your house. I think I’d have to offer you some food before you go, so don’t go zapping back to Texas before then.”

It was quiet again. And a Northern Winter wind swept through the two of them. Texas bundled farther into her thin sweater.

“I’d like a ride,” she mumbled into the neckline.

* * *

“Hold this by my mouth while I drive.”

“Is that safe?”

“Do you want Sam and Victoria marching on Shrewsbury in two hours?”

“Not really, but I don’t want to die in a car crash- _Jesus_ Owen!”

“Oh look at that, you’re starting to thaw out. Can’t believe you’re still able to breathe after spending time getting acquainted with our horrid winters up north.”

“Fine, I’ll do it- shut up.”

_“Owen?”_

“Heeey Vickie. Sooo, I may or may not have gotten my car towed for trying to use my cell phone while I was driving again.”

 _“Where are you?”_ Rhode Island sounded long-suffering.

“Uh a very _lovely_ Connecticut town, tell Sam they did really well with this one.”

_“Sam and I would like to know why in hell you were driving through Connecticut to get back to your house.”_

“Took a detour so I could avoid the pike.”

_“Owen, the pike doesn’t even touch my place.”_

“One can never be too sure.”

There was a moment of indistinct voices and then Rhode Island said, _“Sam wants me to tell you that you’re an idiot. Also to just get yourself back to Mass or camp out there until you find out the name of the town. Sam’s having trouble pinpointing where you are. We’ll pick you up in the morning.”_

“Thanks, Vickie, you’re my favorite sister.”

_“Not paying the fine. Goodnight, Owen.”_

“Night Victoria. Nighty nighty Sam.”

_“Sam is illustrating their frustration over you and your abysmal driving skills. They say goodnight too.”_

Texas hung up after a moment of silence. Massachusetts’ small smile that had been present during the conversation faded once the call ended.

“May I ask,” he asked a few moments later when they were stuck under a stoplight, “why you have deigned to visit me tonight or is Sadie going to attack me?”

She huffed a sigh and leaned her head against the cool glass of his car window. “I’ve been thinking.”

“A dangerous pastime,” Massachusetts said with a hint of a melody in his voice and his fingers were they were drumming on the steering wheel.

She stared at him. “What.”

His eyes were still on the road as he started waving a hand explaining, the light changing above them. “Y’know, from Beauty and the Beast? ‘Lefou, I’m afraid I’ve been thinking/ A dangerous pastime/ I know’?”

At her blank look and accompanying silence, he scoffed and wriggled one hand behind his seat to dig out a jar. “You’re insufferable, c’mon, a dollar in the Missed Reference Jar.”

She stared at it for a long time but dug out a ratty single from her pocket and shoved it through the top. “Liam, Mia, and I have a Doge Meme Jar. Liam’s the major contributor.” She curled into herself a little more, fingering a curl that had come loose from her braids. “Mia made a really bad Moon Moon joke the other day.” She tried to pretend to herself that her voice wasn’t wistful.

She felt Massachusetts staring at her and she fidgeted under the scrunty for a while before glaring at him, a waspish _“What?”_ on the tip of her tongue that she bit back at his expression.

“Hmm,” was all he said before pulling into his driveway.

* * *

He pushed a cup of coffee, sweetened to nearly an inch to its life he complained, towards where she was sitting morosely. He crossed his arms and glowered at her.

“Don’t tell me your tantrum has anything to do with Li coming out to you,” he scowled.

She frowned. “Li?”

“It’s a little more personal than just saying Kansas and it makes sure we don’t misgender them.”

She huffed and looked down at her coffee, stomach rolling as she tried to put her thoughts in any order. “How did you know that you were...um...gay?”

His face was as expressive as stone and his jaw ticked as he stared at her. “Is that what this is about?”

She grabbed fistfuls of her hair. “No! I don’t know! Stop saying trying to figure out what this is about ‘cause I don’t know! I’m just so-” confused, scared, terrified, horrified, _lost_ “-I don’t know- what’s happening? Why can’t I just accept it? Why is it so hard? Why I-I-uh-”

Horrifyingly, she realized she was crying when she felt a cool hand on her back and a tissue box in front of her. She couldn’t breathe, but she was still managing to babble.

“I love Liam, I love him like my brother because he is my _brother_ \- but I don’t want to make him upset and I’m going to- I don’t want to lose him- what if I can’t-”

The rest dissolved into incoherent sobbing. When she calmed down, she felt Massachusetts’ hand rubbing her back and speaking lowly.

“When Sam first told me they weren’t a girl and weren’t a boy, I messed up all the time and every time I did, I would freak out, but Sam’d just look at me all unimpressed-like and say that they’d been dealing with the whole gender thing since the 1600’s and whatever comment I just made wasn’t really all that awful and shut up Owen goddamit.

“It’s hard, I’ll give that. I guess I’ve had more practice than you have- I mean I’ve got Zach and Sam up here, and since I am the Gay State™, I’m normally the first one people come to, and I’ve got my agender pain in the ass to the south. Anyway…

“You’re not losing Liam, Destiny,” Massachusetts said, his voice gentle and knowledgeable. She blinked at him, her eyes puffy and red. “You can’t, he’s always been there. Just now sometimes he’s gonna be Lillian and a girl. And if you mess up at first, it’s okay, and even if you mess up once a long while down the road, Li’s still gonna love you. They still love you, they are hurt because they think you hate them.”

“I don’t-” she choked out. “I’m just scared. I don't know what I should do!”

“Listen to them,” Massachusetts said softly. “They’re the only ones who can tell you what you need to do.”

* * *

_April 18, 2014- Stillwater, Oklahoma_

* * *

The door isn’t opened by Mia, but by Liam in a skirt that looks rather familiar. Texas spends a moment frowning at the skirt, trying to place where it’s familiar, until she notices that Liam’s toes are painted and his feet are fidgeting. She relocates her gaze to Liam’s face.

“Is it Lillian today?” she asked, blaming the fact that she can’t really think past ‘Liam hates me’.

The steel armored glare that had been there a moment before slipped, and Lillian stared at her with a lost expression.

“Doesn’t Mia have that skirt?”

“We bought it together,” Lillian said softly, staring at Texas with a wondering look. “Dest…?”

 

Texas could feel tears well up behind her eyes. Mia had gotten that skirt last summer; she’d known about Lillian and Liam and whatever else Kansas decided they were before Texas and for good reason because Texas had just blown off Lillian and refused to speak to them for a really long time. Because Texas was actually a horrible person.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped out. “I’m really sorry, Lia-Lillian. I’m sorry, I’m actually a horrible horrible person and sister and you shouldn’t talk to me ever again because you were just trying to be truthful with me and I was an asshole-”

She stopped because Lillian had thrown her arms around Texas’ neck and held her tight. She was startled for a moment and then hugged Lillian tight.

“You could have been a bigger asshole than you actually were, Destiny. And I’d still forgive you because you’re my sister and you’re my favorite person aside from Mia and Connor. It’s okay, Destiny, I forgive you.”


End file.
